Potty-Training: How We Support Your Child's Journey at Nursery

Potty training is one of the most significant milestones in a young child’s life. It marks a transition from babyhood to early independence, a moment where they begin to take control of their own physical needs. But for many parents, it can also be a source of anxiety. When is the right time? What if they regress? How do we manage this while they are at nursery?

At Thrive Childcare, we believe that potty training shouldn’t be a battle; it should be a partnership. We view this phase not just as a practical necessity, but as a key emotional and developmental step that requires patience, encouragement, and—most importantly—consistency between home and nursery.

This collaborative approach is central to our ethos. As we explore in our blog on the importance of parent partnership, your involvement is the secret ingredient to your child’s early education. When we work together, we create a secure foundation that allows your child to tackle new challenges, like toileting, with confidence.

Recognising the Signs: Is Your Child Ready?

One of the most common questions we hear from parents is, “When should I start?” The truth is, there is no magic age. While many children show interest between the ages of two and three, every child follows their own timeline. Starting before a child is physically and emotionally ready can often lead to frustration for both of you.

To understand where potty training fits into the bigger picture, it can be helpful to look at our guide on child development stages (0-5 years). This resource highlights how physical control and communication skills develop at different rates, reminding us that readiness is about individual growth, not a calendar date.

According to the NHS guide to potty training, key indicators include:

• Physical Control: Your child can stay dry for a couple of hours at a time or wakes up dry from a nap. This shows their bladder capacity is increasing.
• Awareness: They know when they have a wet or dirty nappy and may tell you or pull at it uncomfortably.
• Communication: They can follow simple instructions and have words or gestures for needing the toilet.
• Independence: They show an interest in the toilet or potty and are beginning to pull their own trousers or pants up or down.

If you are unsure, have a chat with your child’s Key Person at the nursery. We see your child every day and can share observations that might help you decide if the time is right.

The Power of Partnership: The Thrive Childcare Approach

Once you’ve decided to take the leap, communication is your most powerful tool. We encourage you to schedule a brief meeting or have a dedicated chat with your Key Person before you send your child in without a nappy.

The relationship between your family and our staff is vital here. If you are unsure about who will be supporting your child daily, we recommend reading about the role of the Key Person at Thrive. This person is your child’s special advocate within the nursery, uniquely positioned to mirror your home routine and provide the emotional security your child needs during this vulnerable transition.

We aim to mirror your home routine as closely as possible. If you are using a specific word for “wee” or “poo,” let us know so we can use the same language. If you are using a potty rather than a toilet seat, or if you are using a reward chart at home, tell us.

The UK charity ERIC (The Children’s Bowel & Bladder Charity) emphasises that consistency is crucial for success. If a child is taught one method at home and faces a completely different set of expectations at nursery, it can lead to confusion and regression. By aligning our approaches, we create a “safety net” of routine that helps your child feel secure.

Practical Steps for Nursery Days

To make the transition as smooth as possible on nursery days, a little practical preparation goes a long way. Here is a checklist to help you get set up:

1. Dress for Success Please dress your child in clothes that are easy for them to manage independently. Elasticated waistbands, leggings, or joggers are fantastic. Complex buttons, dungarees, stiff jeans, and tight belts can be stressful for a child who needs to go now. The easier it is for them to pull their trousers down, the more confident and independent they will feel.
2. Pack Plenty of Spares Accidents are inevitable (and completely normal!). Please pack at least three or four full changes of clothes in their bag, including plenty of socks, trousers, and pants (knickers or underpants). Knowing that there are plenty of clean clothes available takes the pressure off the staff and ensures your child can be changed quickly and discreetly, getting back to their play with minimal fuss.
3. Communication at Drop-Off A quick handover in the morning is vital. Let us know if they used the potty before leaving the house, or if they haven’t been yet. This helps us gauge when they might next need a reminder.

How We Support Your Child During the Day

At Thrive Childcare, our staff are trained to approach potty training with a relaxed, positive attitude. We generally avoid strictly “scheduled” toileting (forcing a child to sit every 20 minutes regardless of need), as this can become a chore and lead to resistance. Instead, we use prompted toileting.

We observe your child for their unique cues—the “potty wiggle,” holding themselves, or going quiet and moving to a corner. We then gently ask, “Do you need the toilet?” or remind them it’s time to try, such as before going into the garden or before a nap.

Our bathrooms are designed to be child-friendly, with low toilets and sinks that encourage independence. We celebrate every success—whether it’s a dry day or just sitting on the potty when asked. However, we are careful to keep praise grounded and sincere, avoiding over-the-top reactions that might make a child feel anxious about “performing.”

Normalising Accidents

It is important to remember that potty training is a learning curve, not a linear path to perfection. There will be puddles. There will be days where they seem to have forgotten everything they learned.

When accidents happen at nursery, we deal with them calmly and kindly. We never scold or express disappointment. We simply clean up, change the child, and reassure them that it’s okay. We follow the guidance from the NCT (National Childbirth Trust), which suggests that staying calm helps prevent your child from developing anxiety or shame around toileting.

If we notice a persistent pattern of accidents, we will chat with you to investigate potential causes. Sometimes, physical factors such as diet play a role; for example, constipation can make toileting uncomfortable or difficult to control. Ensuring a balanced diet is key, and you can find helpful tips in our article on healthy eating habits for young children.

In some cases, if a child is distressed, we might mutually agree to pause training for a few weeks and go back to nappies or pull-ups. This isn’t a failure; it’s a responsive approach to your child’s needs.

Dealing with Regression and Building Resilience

Regression is a common concern for parents. A child who has been dry for weeks may suddenly start having accidents. This often coincides with changes in routine, illness, or emotional upheavals like a new sibling, moving house, or a change in their nursery room.

While frustrating, these moments are actually opportunities to build emotional strength. Dealing with the disappointment of a wet pair of trousers is a big feeling for a little person. As we discuss in our post on how we nurture resilience and navigate big feelings, validating their emotions (“I see you’re sad you had an accident, that’s okay, we can try again”) helps them bounce back stronger.

If regression happens, please don’t panic. It is usually temporary. Maintain the routine, keep the pressure low, and continue to offer plenty of reassurance. Let your Key Person know if there are changes at home so we can offer extra support and cuddles during the day.

A Shared Journey

Potty training is a team effort. At Thrive Childcare, we are privileged to be part of your village. We are here to support you when it feels frustrating and to celebrate with you when it finally clicks.

By working together, sharing information, and maintaining a consistent, positive approach, we can ensure your child masters this skill with confidence and pride. Trust your instincts, trust your child, and remember—we are right here with you.