How We Nurture Adventurous Eaters (and Manage Fussy Eating)

If you are a parent of a toddler or pre-schooler, you are likely familiar with the “Beige Phase.”

It usually happens overnight. One day, your baby is happily devouring spinach, salmon, and sweet potato mash. The next, they look at anything green with deep suspicion and will only accept foods that match the colour of the carpet: pasta, toast, cheese, crackers, and maybe a banana (if you’re lucky).

Fussy eating is one of the most common sources of stress for parents. We worry about nutrition. We worry about wasted food. We worry that they will never eat a vegetable again.

At Thrive Childcare, we see hundreds of children navigate this phase every year. We know that while it is frustrating, it is also completely normal. More importantly, we know that with the right environment and a little patience, we can help them come out the other side as happy, adventurous eaters.

Why Do They Suddenly Refuse Food?

First, a little reassurance: you haven’t done anything wrong.

Around the age of 18 months to two years, children often develop something called “food neophobia”—a fear of new foods. From an evolutionary perspective, this kept our cave-toddlers safe from eating poisonous berries while wandering away from the cave. Today, it just means they refuse your lovingly prepared shepherd’s pie.

Understanding that this is a developmental milestone, rather than “bad behaviour,” is the first step. You can read more about typical milestones in our child development stages (0-5 years) guide, which highlights how independence and assertiveness—often expressed as “No!” at the dinner table—are signs of a growing personality.

The Nursery Advantage: Social Eating

One of the things parents find most baffling is when we tell them, “Oh yes, they had two helpings of chickpea curry today,” when that same child won’t touch a chickpea at home.

This isn’t magic; it’s the power of social eating.

At nursery, mealtimes are a communal event. Children sit together around low tables, eating the same food at the same time. There is a positive “peer pressure” at play here. When a hesitant child sees their best friend enthusiastically eating broccoli, their curiosity often overrides their suspicion.

We purposely create a relaxed, social atmosphere. We talk about the food—”Ooh, look at this crunchy carrot, it makes a big snap sound!”—rather than focusing on how much they are eating. This removes the anxiety from the table. As we discuss in our article on healthy eating habits for young children, making food fun and social is far more effective than bribery or strict rules.

Independence and Self-Regulation

Control is a big factor in fussy eating. Toddlers have very little control over their lives, so they exert it where they can: their mouths.

At Thrive, we encourage independence. Depending on their age, children help set the table, pour their own water, and often serve themselves from serving bowls. This gives them agency. They decide whether to put a little or a lot on their plate.

Crucially, we respect their appetite. We never force a child to finish their plate (“clean plate club” is a thing of the past!). This supports their natural ability to judge their own fullness. Learning to listen to their own bodies is a key part of self-regulation. When we force children to eat past the point of fullness, we override these natural signals; when we trust them, we build a healthy relationship with food for life.

The Role of the Key Person

If you are worried about your child’s eating, your first port of call should be your child’s Key Person.

They monitor what your child eats daily and can spot patterns you might miss. Perhaps your child eats better at breakfast than tea time (common, as they are less tired). Perhaps they prefer raw carrots to cooked ones.

We record food intake and share this with you, ensuring we are partners in this journey. If a child is going through a particularly fussy patch, the Key Person provides the emotional support and encouragement they need, ensuring mealtimes remain a happy place. You can learn more about this special bond in our article on the role of the Key Person at Thrive.

5 Tips for Managing Fussy Eating at Home

If the battles at the dinner table are getting you down, try these nursery-approved strategies at home:

1. The “Learning Plate” Serve the “safe” foods you know they will eat, but add a tiny, fingernail-sized portion of the new food on the side. Call it the “learning portion.” There is no pressure to eat it; it is just there to get used to. Exposure is key—it can take 15-20 exposures before a child accepts a new food!
2. Eat Together Whenever possible, eat the same meal as your child. If they see you enjoying a variety of foods, they learn that these foods are safe and tasty. If you are on a diet or eating later, try to sit with them and have a small snack so it is still a shared experience.
3. Ditch the Pressure Try to avoid phrases like “Just one more bite” or “No pudding until you eat your peas.” This creates a battleground. Instead, adopt the “Division of Responsibility” model: You decide what is served and when; the child decides how much (or if) to eat.
4. Involve Them in the Process Children are more likely to eat something they helped create. Let them wash the vegetables, stir the batter, or choose between two vegetables at the supermarket (“Shall we get red peppers or yellow peppers today?”).
5. Consistency is Key Just like potty training or sleep routines, consistency helps. Try to stick to roughly the same meal and snack times. This aligns with our philosophy on parent partnership—when home and nursery work together, children feel more secure and ready to try new things.

A Journey, Not a Race

It is easy to worry that a diet of fish fingers and toast will last forever. We promise you, it won’t.

By keeping mealtimes calm, social, and low-pressure, your child will eventually expand their palate. They will discover that strawberries are sweet, that hummus is fun to dip, and that trying something new can be an adventure.

Until then, don’t stress about the beige. Keep offering the rainbow, model the enjoyment of food, and remember that at Thrive, we are here to support you through every refused pea and every triumphant bite.